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Archives for 2008

Christmas classics…bunny style

Because I’m having trouble thinking of something coherent to write beyond “Whoo, hoo! My boss is encouraging me to use up my 80 hours of comp time which means I’m done for the year on December 23rd!” (That’s 12 days’ vacation for 5 days’ worth of comp time), I provide you with two Christmas Classics, bunny style

Both of these want Flash.

Check out the rest of the bunnies’ work at Angry Alien

Repeal Day

The 18th Amendment
Ratified January 16, 1919

Section 1. After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited.

Section 2. The Congress and the several States shall have concurrent power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Section 3. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Today marks the 75th anniversary of America’s long, dry, teetotaling spell. My great-grandfather stopped making wine for his restaurant after they passed the 18th Amendment even though the local law would have looked the other way. And even though it is gone now, replaced by a monstrous office building, the 21st Amendment was one of DC’s finest bars (OK, it was a dive but it was a quality dive).

The 21st Amendment
Ratified December 5, 1933

Section 1. The eighteenth article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed.

Section 2. The transportation or importation into any State, Territory, or possession of the United States for delivery or use there in of intoxicating liquors, in violation of the laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.

Section 3. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by conventions in the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Learn more about repeal day.

Everybody lies…some more frequently than others

I really like the library. Because the books are effectively free (we won’t talk about the capital improvement costs that are built into the tax structure), I get an opportunity to indulge my curiosity at the library. I can pick up a book by a new author and if I don’t like it I don’t feel obligated to finish it because I shelled out $24.95 for a hard cover. Or, if I really want and my timing is good, I can pick up the hottest trendy book while it’s still trendy. More likely, though, I pick up the hottest trendy book a few years later just to see with some perspective why it was so hot and trendy in the first place.

A couple of weeks ago I snagged a hard-cover copy of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. The book itself is a rarity as it does not include the author’s note that Frey said would be added to future soft and hard cover editions of the book after Frey was first exposed as a fraud and then admitted that he had made up details of his life and presented them as fact in his memoir.

Frey’s book rose to the top of the best-seller charts after Oprah Winfrey selected it for her bookclub making the announcement on her October 26, 2005 show saying that the book is “…like nothing you’ve ever read before. Everybody at Harpo is reading it. When we were staying up late at night reading it, we’d come in the next morning saying, ‘What page are you on?'” according to an extensive article on The Smoking Gun.

Regardless of what I think about the quality of Frey’s prose or his annoying habit of randomly capitalizing words in his text as a lazy way of emphasizing them: indeed, throughout the book he repeats the phrase “I am an Alcoholic and I am a drug Addict and I am a Criminal.” written just so, what surprises me most is not that Frey embellished or wholly made up incidents in his past (really, read the TSG article for a glimpse into just how big a liar this guy really is). No, what surprises me most is how many people bought his lies and just how sheltered from real life Oprah Winfrey really is.

Addicts lie. It’s a simple fact. They lie about what they’ve smoked, shot, drank, swallowed, and snorted. They lie about how much they’ve smoked, shot, drank, swallowed, and snorted. They lie about when they started smoking, shooting, drinking, swallowing, or snorting whatever their substances of choice might be. They lie about when they stopped. They lie about how much money they’ve spent buying substances to smoke, shoot, drink, swallow, or snort. They lie about who they’ve stolen from. They lie about how much they’ve stolen. They lie about who they’ve fucked while they’re high. They lie about who they’d fuck for another chance to get high. But most of all, addicts lie about why they smoke, drink, swallow, or snort whatever it is they dump into their bodies.

I’ve known several addicts in my life. For most their drug of choice was booze; easily available, socially acceptable, and 100% legal. A few, though, imbibed substances significantly harder: mini mounds of meth off the web between thumb and forefinger casually in the darkest back corner of the bar; thin lines of coke off house keys, three people jammed into a dirty bathroom stall, a valium, xanax, or a whole lot of pot to even out later; Mexican viagra by the handful like it wasn’t legally available from their own doctors. I had the misfortune many years ago to be disruptive to the sobriety of one of them which is how I know that the biggest lie any addict can tell is why he uses.

In this particular case I got a dose of honesty about what and how much and when but the story about why and how the chosen drug came to be available was in distant restrospect too convoluted to be believed. I suspect that our relationship caused stress enough that falling off the proverbial wagon to the tune of hundreds of dollars and the literal lost weekend seemed like a good idea.

Except…

The biggest lie that addicts tell is the one that blames their smoking, shooting, drinking, swallowing, and snorting on some external factor, some trauma or stress. And it’s the lie Frey told repeatedly and with brio to make his book more interesting and more saleable. My friend, I suspect, lied equally out of self-protection, protection of my feelings, and fear that the truth might fracture our friendship.

Whether addiction is a disease the way cancer is a disease is immaterial; a human being reaches a point at which she’s driven by the choices she’s made, a point at which past choices circumscribe future choices, and the initial choice to smoke, shoot, drink, swallow, or snort whatever the drug of choice may be is the first step toward that point.

So given that addicts lie, why was anyone surprised when it turned out that major dramatic elements in Frey’s book were either embellished or created out of whole cloth?

World AIDS Day 2008

According to the UN Population Fund there are approximately 33,487,070 people living with HIV globally. The map looks something like this:

World Map
World Map

World Map with countries resized to show infection totals.
World Map with countries resized to show infection totals.
World Map showing infection rates relative to population.  The darkest red is greater than 20% of the total population infected.
World Map showing infection rates relative to population. The darkest red is greater than 20% of the total population infected.

Check out their AIDS clock (it uses Flash) for more info.

Recipe for life

One of the key rules of blogging is that no one wants to know what you had for lunch. Unless you’ve focused your blog around your culinary adventures, writing about your meals is the refuge of the lazy blogger. That said: I made a culinary advancement this month.

Eggs are one of my favorite foods. Scrambled, fried, combined into the French farm wife’s dish of choice, I’ll eat eggs for any meal at any time of day. Despite my love of just about all dishes egg-related, I’m not very good at cooking them. However, one Sunday morning this month I discovered the secret to the perfect omlette: fat, heat, water, and patience.

You have to put enough fat, I used real, actual butter, in the pan, let it get hot enough before you pour in the eggs which you have already mixed with just enough cool water that vigorous mixing with a fork produces a slight froth around the edge, and wait just long enough for the eggs to form a good, solid base before you move the edge aside to let the mixture on top get near the pan and start to cook. The patience comes in when you turn down the heat from high to medium and cover the frying pan with a lid giving the base enough time to solidify and the mixture on top enough heat to cook.

And while I was enjoying my omlette with cheese and reading through the Sunday paper it hit me: the things that are necessary for making a good omlette are the same things that are necessary for a good, rich life.

You need to have a little fat in your life for those times that are physically or emotionally lean. Sure, being fit and in shape is fine but if you hew to the body trends of the day you’re constantly hungry, constantly stressing out your immune system, so that when hard times do come they sap your core resources and not that little bit extra that you’ve got hanging around as your cushion.

A well lived life, a full life means heat. It requires passion even if it is only the fire of righteous indignation at the stupidity of the world and the people who live in it. You have to be careful, though, to make sure that your passion is yours, that it’s productive rather than totally reactive; too much of that righteous indignation dampens real fire quick as anesthetized boredom ever could leaving you hollow, sour, and small.

New things, places, people, and experiences marinate your life and your view points in a soup of input that without enough of you dry up. Your mind shuts down and you think the things you think are the only things that should be thought. Not enough flow, not enough wetness and your bones crumble, sediment settles as its wont to do, and you stagnate.

And then there’s patience. Patience is the hardest one to figure out when trying to construct a personal “good life” strategy. Any adult knows that not only is it not practical it’s often not even possible to have everything you want right at the moment you want it, but how long to wait? How long to bide your time, to stay in a job that doesn’t quite fit but isn’t really that discomfiting, in a relationship that isn’t perfect but then again what is, in a life that isn’t entirely fulfilling but who promised you that life would be easy or even satisfactory? When do you act now and when do you wait realizing that while tomorrow isn’t guaranteed neither is the idea that there won’t be a tomorrow for you and if there is you’ll have to deal with the consequences of today?

I find myself nearing the end of my fourth decade with little left but patience. Shut in, shut out, dry and humorless, every knock, dig, dent, and ping taking more out of me than I think it should.

Maybe it’s just aging, the natural disconnection of the childless and middle-aged from popular culture the irrelevance and recycled nature of which becomes clearer and clearer with every fashion and music trend.

Or maybe, just maybe, I need to find some matches, to stop considering my options so that what needs to be done and what is expected of me always precede what I want whenever there is a choice to be made.

Possibly it’s just the holidays. Maybe if I can crawl into a cave until the teeth cracking sweetness of public music and the wallet busting desperation of the retail machine have passed I’ll be OK.

It feels deeper than that, though. The leeching in my life, the lack of fat and heat and juiciness, seems dug in, here for the long haul.

It’s time for a reboot. How I’m going to do that I don’t know, but it’s definitely time.

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