Thought That Came Unbidden

I’ve been out of the news loop for a while. No great shock that the world has gone on while I wasn’t paying attention. Some things that have caught my eye since I’ve started paying attention again:

• Just one day after refusing to discuss “ongoing intelligence operations” within the U.S., President Bush admitted that the NSA has a “secret program” that intercepts the communications “of people with known links to al Qaeda and related terrorist organizations.” And this is necessary, according to Bush, “to detect and prevent terrorist attacks.” Would that be the same way we detected the potential terrorist attack on September 11, 2001?
• And just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder than the whole stolen election – no WMDs – Karl Rove – leaked CIA agent’s name – Katrina fiasco – Alito abomninomination I read that there’s a war on Christmas? Why do they even bother to include the word News over at Fox? Last time I checked fiction and news were mutually exclusive. I don’t often recycle content here but this rant (warning: NSFW URL) about the so-called “war on Christmas” hits it dead on. And let me add more specifically the following: a close intelligent reading of the bible, and a discussion with just about any biblical scholar, will tell you that Jesus was, most likely, born in the summer so could you please keep your thieving, sticky, Christian fingers off my pagan holiday? Thanks so much.
• And while I have been relatively news free for the past 10 days or so I did manage to catch a bit of Heath Ledger’s Good Morning America interview to promote Brokeback Mountain. But only a bit, though, as the ambient homophobia level was so high it nearly turned my hair a different color: the question Diane Sawyer was asking him when I turned on the show was “Tell us what you’ve learned from the women in your life.” I think it speaks for itself.
• Oh, and one other random bit of information: I learned recently that Florida law allows doctors to ignore the instructions in a written living will/advance directive if they are given contradictory instructions by the patient’s next of kin – especially if this person is a legally wedded spouse – or by the person with medical power of attorney for the patient. Sorta makes you wonder what the big deal was over Terry Schivo, doesn’t it?
• I’ve also been thinking a lot, even before I was prompted by one of the newsletters I get, about my goals for 2006.

  What is it I want to do with the rest of my life? What things, big and small, do I want to do before I die? Before I get too old to enjoy them? More on this as the list develops.

Hum…let’s see…

• He’s not mobile (the man’s been in bed for nearly a month).
• He had part of his brain removed less than 2 weeks ago.
• He hasn’t even been out of ICU for 24 hours.

Yeah, turfing him to home sounds like a really good idea.

Not only did the hospital give my aunt less than 24 hours to find a skilled nursing care facility (read: nursing home) for my uncle they tried to blame the move on the insurance company.

I’m so angry I’m surprised my hair isn’t on fire. And, of course, I had to come home yesterday so I’m 900 miles away and I can’t do anything for her.

It could get worse but I’m not sure I wan’t to go there right now.

There is no question that the cancer will kill him. This is not in dispute. The question really is, what kind of quality of life can he have between right now and the end?

The thing of it is: “right now” changes.

He has stabilized to the point that “right now” is not the hour-by-hour affair that it was even a week ago. We’re up to day-by-day, which is a huge improvement.

We met with the radiologist-oncologist today and got at least a rough timeline and treatment plan, and got a lot of our questions about the tumor part of it answered (radiation + chemo…yummy). This makes my aunt feel better.

Tomorrow we’re going to try to meet with his caseworker at the hospital (talk about lack of communication: the caseworker didn’t even know he was supposed to be in her caseload) and get all the questions that weren’t appropriate today answered.

I’m guardedly hopeful.

There is just nothing right about the health care system in the U.S. Not a single thing. In his treatment program (and I use the term loosely), my uncle has:

1. A primary care physician
2. Neurosurgeon
3. A surgeon
4. An infectious diseases specialist
5. An oncologist
6. A radiologist-oncologist

And not a single fucking one of them talks to any of the rest of them.

He had a CAT scan yesterday. We find out from the ICU nurse that that the surgeon looked at it and said it looked the way they expected; no tumor regrowth since the surgery, and that the radiologist-oncologist plans to start radiation treatment next week. Today the infectious diseases Dr. says that it doesn’t look good but they don’t think they’re going to operate.

Does that sound as fucked up when it’s read back as it did when my aunt told me that? And is it any wonder that she’s worn down and frustrated?

Monday I get to go with her to the “family consultation” with these jokers where I’m going to ask a lot of really pointed questions. It will take every ounce of self-control I have not to start with “Can any one in this room besides me and her find their ass with both hands?”

I swear, they tell me later in life that I have a brain tumor I’m gonna have a really nice party and when it’s done take a handful of pills because I never want to have to deal with this kind of bullshit ever again.

Does anyone besides me find it bizarre that the gay cable channel would cut out the love scenes in gay and lesbian movies?