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Thoughts That Come Unbidden Department

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Subway thoughts

Is it really better to ask for forgiveness than permission?*

If it is, where is the cut-off line on the seriousness of transgression?

Random thoughts from a long subway ride.

* This rule does not apply to the running of a country.

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Comments

  1. Susan says

    19 January 2006 at 12:26

    Uh – I think you lost me here. Are you asking, is it better to shoot first and ask questions and profer apologies later instead of waiting to see if shooting is appropriate and approved?

    Being chicken-hearted, I lean towards a No answer – get permission first. On the other hand – there are times when this definitely is not a good approach.

    As for running the country – never fear, no apologies are contemplated, nor will permission be asked.

  2. woodstock says

    21 January 2006 at 18:38

    Shooting isn’t quite the appropriate thing as it involves doing harm to someone else (perhaps I’m reading you to literally).

    Take the scenario: you want to stay out past curfew. You suspect that if you ask your parents they will say no.

    One school of thought (the better to ask forgiveness than permission school) says that it is better to bust curfew and ask for leniency later. This way, even if you are punished for the transgression you at least got to do the thing you wanted without a (major) amount of guilt. This school of thought is grounded in the belief that if you ask for permission, are denied, and do the thing anyway you will be punished more harshly for having done it against specific (no, you may not stay out past curfew) prohibition rather than general (having a curfew) prohibition.

    The ask for permission school of thought, the one you advocate, presumes that permission will be given. That takes a lot more faith than, in my opinion, most people have.

  3. Susan says

    21 January 2006 at 21:57

    Well, the shooting bit was an easy example. Already had its own cliche. 🙂

    But as for asking first – I don’t at all assume permission will be given. I think, especially with something serious, if you ask, you have to be prepared to deal with either answer.

    It can get rather complex here, I think. Many factors come into play. But roughly, my guess is that if you intend to go ahead no matter what, then better to ask for forgiveness – if in fact that isn’t hypocritical.

    There’s another scenario – maybe the person you would ask would rather not make such a decision. Maybe their responsibility would require them to say no – but if in fact you go ahead, they won’t really be too disturbed.

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