I love my body.
I don’t say that very often, but I really do. Like most American women, my relationship with my physical person can be contentious at times, mostly due to the unreasonable expectation that my individual body live up to some mass-produced body image standards. Yes, I admit it, I’ve looked in the mirror and had those thoughts (my thighs are too big! where did all this body hair come from and how can I get rid of it? toofattoofattoofat) but right now I love my body.
I’m sick.
If I’m unlucky I get sick twice a year, usually around the change of season when DC’s weather does what DC’s weather does best: change. (if you dress for the afternoon, 50degF or 60degF, you freeze your proverbials off in the morning; if you dress for the morning you’re sweating through your clothes by lunch time). And it’s always the same, I feel crappy for four days, maybe a week, and then one morning I wake up with this toxic goo oozing out of my left sinus and down the back of my throat.
Some people hate to cough; some people can’t stand to be congested. If you ask when I’m in the throws of an untreated sinus infection I’ll tell you that self-dentistry is preferable to a sore throat.
It used to be that I had to wait for treatment and to deal with doctors who preferred to make someone suffer rather than do a simple lab culture; I got really good at lying (“Yes, it’s been about 10 days since I started feeling bad.”). Why is it so hard to believe that I don’t get viral infections? I mean, do I live in this body or do you?
Once I get my body what it needs to treat said bacterial infection, it proceeds to get well on a consistent, predictable course: first I feel immensely better simply because my throat has stopped hurting; next, the appetite comes back; third, I hit bottom again as the bacteria fight back and I compare simply having gotten treatment to not feeling perfectly healthy. Usually some where around day 4 is when I start to feel human again. I spend days 5-7 being eternally grateful for my health and vowing to do everything I can not to get sick again…ever.
Today is day 2 and I love my body.